On Fear Of Falling

[fadeaccompli]

I'm relatively new to climbing--about three months now--and mostly climb at the gym, and I'm running into some interesting psychological blocks in my bouldering lately. If I've fallen off a route before--especially if it happened unexpectedly, and high up--I find it a hell of a lot harder to get back on that same route again later, despite not having picked up any real injuries or even pain in the process. (Hurrah for padded gym floors, plus crash pads.)

So...is there any particularly good way to work past this block? It keeps coming up especially on routes that go fairly high, or that are really tricky to climb back down from. It's not bothering me at all when I'm on a rope; after a few rounds of that, I knew I wasn't going to fall very far, so I can cheerfully plummet off the wall again and again. But in bouldering, sometimes it's enough to make me not try a route at all, because I've done a solid thud from the top hold before.

Suggestions? Anecdotes? I'm just hoping there's a better answer than "wait for it to go away."

Comments

[rydra_wong]

One of those things that I'm finally grappling with as an adult is figuring out the line between "I'm not really into this, and it's optional, so I shouldn't waste my time on it" and "Any time something is hard I'm going to quit."

*nods a lot*

For me, it's made a huge difference to tell myself over and over again that I'm the one in charge of this, I don't have to do anything I don't want to, and this is not a school sports lesson.

When I'd just started climbing, I tended to be very very nervous, and I did a deal with myself that if couldn't handle anything more than traversing to and fro a few inches above the ground for the entire session, THAT WAS FINE. That was all I ever had to do.

And I don't think there was ever a session where that's all I did; taking the pressure off somehow made me much braver, so I'd start thinking "Actually, that hold up there looks quite appealing ..."

Sometimes I overdo it and sometimes I underdo it, but it's really powerful to feel I'm developing that sense of intrinsic motivation.

[fadeaccompli]

I get anxious about whether I'm improving enough, or at all. (Especially since a few friends that I introduced to climbing in turn are now cheerfully doing stuff a grade up from me.) But...ultimately, it's not a competition; I'm doing it because I enjoy it. And when I start getting the queasy feeling about having somehow failed to meet expectations again, I try to remember that.

It's amazing how much damage school sports classes can do to a child's actual desire to do anything physical, isn't it?

[emperor]

I find there are times when I don't seem to be getting better, and then suddenly I can do things I couldn't before. And I have good sessions and sessions where I'm just aware I'm not about to break into a new grade; but that can be good, too, just to play on routes I've done before.

[rydra_wong]

Especially since a few friends that I introduced to climbing in turn are now cheerfully doing stuff a grade up from me.

Bastards. *g*

Seriously: it helps to remind myself that other people are often starting from a completely different baseline from me.

For example, of course someone who's from an athletic background and physically confident is going to have a headstart in many respects compared to me (dyspraxic and twenty years spent avoiding all forms of sports with fear and loathing). That doesn't say anything about intrinsic ability, or about what I'm capable in the long run.

I get anxious about whether I'm improving enough, or at all.

Yeah, it's sort of inevitable when you're really into something -- of course you want to get better at it so you can do more cool things. And being competitive can be natural, too.

But occasionally I have to recognize when I'm getting obsessive and too focused on external markers of whether I'm doing "okay", and make myself spend some time climbing things that don't have grades on. *g*

Anyway, IMHO working on developing your sense of when to push yourself and when not to is one of the most important things you can do to improve your climbing in the long term.