On Fear Of Falling

[fadeaccompli]

I'm relatively new to climbing--about three months now--and mostly climb at the gym, and I'm running into some interesting psychological blocks in my bouldering lately. If I've fallen off a route before--especially if it happened unexpectedly, and high up--I find it a hell of a lot harder to get back on that same route again later, despite not having picked up any real injuries or even pain in the process. (Hurrah for padded gym floors, plus crash pads.)

So...is there any particularly good way to work past this block? It keeps coming up especially on routes that go fairly high, or that are really tricky to climb back down from. It's not bothering me at all when I'm on a rope; after a few rounds of that, I knew I wasn't going to fall very far, so I can cheerfully plummet off the wall again and again. But in bouldering, sometimes it's enough to make me not try a route at all, because I've done a solid thud from the top hold before.

Suggestions? Anecdotes? I'm just hoping there's a better answer than "wait for it to go away."

Comments

[miss_s_b]

I'd also like an answer to this one...

[emperor]

I don't do much bouldering, so this is me extrapolating from a recommended technique for getting over fear of falling when on lead[1]:

I'm guessing there's a height at which you happily jump off routes, and a height at which you'd never jump off and always downclimb? Perhaps try jumping off a lot at just around that height, until jumping off is boring, and then repeat just a bit higher. The aim is not to climb up until you're petrified and then leap off, but to jump off at just the top of your comfort zone so that it's no longer a stressful height to jump off from, but a usual, routine height.

[1] clip-dropping for dealing with fear of being above the last clip

[rydra_wong]

I second this for fear of falling in general.

You can try working up from floor level: find an easy problem with huge holds, go up a few feet, jump off, go up a little higher, jump off, etc. etc.. Just gently pushing the edges of your comfort zone, getting more experience with how falls feel and building more confidence in your ability to land a jump/fall safely on the mats.

For fear of specific falls -- e.g. if you've already come off a problem and had a big/scary fall -- I have some tips.

Stuff that works for me:

*Treating the psychological element as part of climbing, and part of specific problems. So, working with fear is part of the climbing experience, not something you have to get out of the way before you get on with the climbing. And when a bouldering problem is scary, that's part of the problem. I've noticed that some route-setters are excellent at setting problems which are physically not difficult to do, but scary as fuck because they have a big move right at the top of the wall, or force you into a position which feels precarious or awkward. That's part of the problem, just as having tricky technique-y moves or horrible slopers is.

*Absolute permission to back off. Sometimes I'm in the right mindset to push myself into things that feel scary (I was yesterday, and had a terrifying but awesome time), and sometimes I'm not. Sometimes it feels right to get back on a problem immediately after a scary fall (on the "get back on the horse" basis); sometimes it feels better to go do something else. Sometimes I can do something scary for a while, but then get shaky and drained and need to go climb something less psychological. It helps to give myself permission to play it by ear. Ultimately, if I'm not enjoying it (at least on some masochistic level), there's no point. And the less pressure I feel, the braver I'm likely to be.

*Going up and experimenting. Sometimes it helps to climb up to the tricky point and just feel how it is to be at that height, before downclimbing, or experiment with deliberately jumping from there in a controlled way, with no expectation that you're necessarily going to try the scary move. It's okay to get up there and decide that you're really not up for it today. Maybe another day will be different.

[fadeaccompli]

These are all very good tips, and thank you! I think that some of the "It's okay to not do this immediately, and it doesn't mean I'm failing at the sport" bits will help me get past the way the tension builds up between "That's scary" and "But if I don't do it anyway, I'm being a wuss."

[rydra_wong]

Early on in my climbing career, I saw a pretty strong guy halfway up a problem, saying in a sing-song voice to himself, "Oh, I don't like this, don't like this at all, got The Fear."

It may be one of those things that varies from place to place, but I've found a lot of boulderers -- including some seriously hardcore ones -- are pretty open about saying when they find something scary, and when they're opting not to do a particular problem because it's too scary for them. Everyone gets The Fear at one point or another.

the tension builds up between "That's scary" and "But if I don't do it anyway, I'm being a wuss."

*nods* It's been a really positive thing in general for me to work on developing that internal sense of whether it's right to push myself at a particular moment or not. It turns out to apply to a lot of things, not just climbing.

Er, excuse the tl;dr. It's a subject I'm kind of fascinated with.

[fadeaccompli]

It's not tl;dr at all! I find this very interesting, actually. One of those things that I'm finally grappling with as an adult is figuring out the line between "I'm not really into this, and it's optional, so I shouldn't waste my time on it" and "Any time something is hard I'm going to quit." And I find it especially difficult to work out the line on physical activities, so I'm all for some insight on how other people figure it out.

Knowing when I need to push myself past the block, and when it's okay to take a break for a while until I've regenned some energy/confidence/stamina/whatever, is one of those things I really haven't figured out yet.

[rydra_wong]

One of those things that I'm finally grappling with as an adult is figuring out the line between "I'm not really into this, and it's optional, so I shouldn't waste my time on it" and "Any time something is hard I'm going to quit."

*nods a lot*

For me, it's made a huge difference to tell myself over and over again that I'm the one in charge of this, I don't have to do anything I don't want to, and this is not a school sports lesson.

When I'd just started climbing, I tended to be very very nervous, and I did a deal with myself that if couldn't handle anything more than traversing to and fro a few inches above the ground for the entire session, THAT WAS FINE. That was all I ever had to do.

And I don't think there was ever a session where that's all I did; taking the pressure off somehow made me much braver, so I'd start thinking "Actually, that hold up there looks quite appealing ..."

Sometimes I overdo it and sometimes I underdo it, but it's really powerful to feel I'm developing that sense of intrinsic motivation.

[fadeaccompli]

I get anxious about whether I'm improving enough, or at all. (Especially since a few friends that I introduced to climbing in turn are now cheerfully doing stuff a grade up from me.) But...ultimately, it's not a competition; I'm doing it because I enjoy it. And when I start getting the queasy feeling about having somehow failed to meet expectations again, I try to remember that.

It's amazing how much damage school sports classes can do to a child's actual desire to do anything physical, isn't it?

[emperor]

I find there are times when I don't seem to be getting better, and then suddenly I can do things I couldn't before. And I have good sessions and sessions where I'm just aware I'm not about to break into a new grade; but that can be good, too, just to play on routes I've done before.

[rydra_wong]

Especially since a few friends that I introduced to climbing in turn are now cheerfully doing stuff a grade up from me.

Bastards. *g*

Seriously: it helps to remind myself that other people are often starting from a completely different baseline from me.

For example, of course someone who's from an athletic background and physically confident is going to have a headstart in many respects compared to me (dyspraxic and twenty years spent avoiding all forms of sports with fear and loathing). That doesn't say anything about intrinsic ability, or about what I'm capable in the long run.

I get anxious about whether I'm improving enough, or at all.

Yeah, it's sort of inevitable when you're really into something -- of course you want to get better at it so you can do more cool things. And being competitive can be natural, too.

But occasionally I have to recognize when I'm getting obsessive and too focused on external markers of whether I'm doing "okay", and make myself spend some time climbing things that don't have grades on. *g*

Anyway, IMHO working on developing your sense of when to push yourself and when not to is one of the most important things you can do to improve your climbing in the long term.

[fadeaccompli]

Hm. I actually find I'm comfortable dropping from different heights on different walls. The more secure I feel on a wall already, the more secure I feel about dropping, too. Which means that the walls with the steeper overhang and slippier holds are the ones which I also feel the least secure about dropping from. (Possibly because I'm more likely to have done so accidentally already?) I mean, I know that it's no more dangerous, but the back of my head doesn't quite agree.

That said, jumping practice does seem like a good plan.

[rydra_wong]

Which means that the walls with the steeper overhang and slippier holds are the ones which I also feel the least secure about dropping from.

It might (or might not) help to know that, counter-intuitively, the overhangs are actually considered safer to fall off, because you fall cleanly to the mats without any danger of bumping into holds on the way down.

Similarly, I've heard that route-setters like to put big moves at the top of a problem because it's safer to fall from there than it is from the middle -- you're more likely to be able to right yourself and land properly. Sprains and so forth often occur with very short falls and uneven landings.

ETA: Yes, I totally get the thing about having different fear levels with different walls. There's one wall with a vertical wave-shaped curve that always freaks me out more than any of the others, possibly because it tends to force really awkward positions.

[fadeaccompli]

Yeah, intellectually I know it's actually safer to fall from those overhang ones... Which is no doubt why they put the longer climbs on them, with higher finishes, and so forth. But my guts don't agree quite yet. Still, practicing controlled falls on the walls that always freak me out may help me get past that. Yesterday I fell off almost the top of the wall I find scariest, and missed the mat, and it still didn't cause any pain. Just a lot of terror.

[wpadmirer]

When I did boulder, I never boulder any height without a spotter. Having a spotter really changes the fear level substantially. Also, having a climbing partner can shame you into trying things that scare you! (grin)

My gym actually requires a spotter for certain heights, which I think is always a smart thing.

[fadeaccompli]

I'd love to go climbing with a spotter more often, but my schedule doesn't really allow it; I'm generally happy if one climb a week is with friends. (This is also why I do so much bouldering instead of belay climbing, as I prefer the latter.) Maybe I should start leaving the really intimidating routes for when I do have a spotter, though.

[wpadmirer]

That's probably a good idea.

I actually got desperate enough for a top roping partner I put an ad on Craig's List. It worked! (grin)